Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015)

Summary: Unarousing sex. Yeah, I didn't believe it at first, either.

Take a drink when:


  • Somebody stares intently and bites their lip.
  • Somebody gets blindfolded.
  • Someone refers to being, or having, a god or goddess.
  • The buff dude takes his shirt off…Wait, haven’t I seen this somewhere before?

Take a shot when:

  • They use “props” to help with their deviant sex. Nasty.
  • An elevator scene appears. Oh, god, the elevator scene…
  • Somebody tells someone to eat more.

Chug when:

  • The buff dude asks about the contract.

Pour one out:

  • For the fact that I’d actually prefer to watch Twilight than this.